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Stubble and Strife

Having a beard: Keeping the legacy alive

You got to love this comic strip for tapping into the reality of venturing out with a beard in the world. There’s something about beards that simply makes people want to get all tactile with you and then probe into why you grew it. This is often followed up with a “too lazy to shave dude?” There aren’t enough fingers to count the number of times we’ve seen this happening and guys sucking in their breath or holding back the irritation – or even embarrassment.

So why all the fuss about beards? Why the heck is it a problem growing a beard? We thought we would give you a little ammunition for when someone next asks you about why you grew your beard:

  • 1.Power - Beards are a symbol of power commanding respect and subservience. All the great commanders from Alexander the Great to Genghis Khan knew this. Ancient Egyptians even had a false plaited beard as a symbol of power, wealth and divinity. Explain it’s your first step to establishing an Empire. Just like the Romans.
  • 2.Wisdom - In ancient India men grew their beards to be seen as source of knowledge and wisdom. You are following the footsteps of Da Vinci, Galileo, Darwin, Abraham Lincoln and Dumbledore. You will now possess the knowledge of deep and meaningful insight.
  • 3.Strength - Warriors used to sport a beard so that others would fear them, and you don’t get much fearful or stronger than Hercules, son of Zeus. Slayer and adventurer. Explain a beard is botox for your muscles.
  • 4.Authority – You will look more regal than your boss. He will fear you. Management will recognize this. You will soon rise above him and conquer all workplace grievances and impose work/life Feng shui whilst leading the business to new frontiers. Just like Richard Branson.
  • 5.Virility – Explain that you are not only now ready for a more serious commitment but also capable of delivering a very manly sexual performance. 

So as you can see, you are not the first – others have trodden the road before you. Show your inherent fighter spirit and stand your ground. Better still learn the Maori Haka traditional dance, and Haka every bearded bro you see.

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